A New Year and We are still Alive

When we have to grow up, we HAVE to grow up. When I was still in my teens, I would always have a shoulder to cry on. A listening ear to listen to my rants, a helping hand when I desperately need one. Advices will be pouring in. I miss my family. 

Nothing feels like home. You may be married and you may have your own career, but nothing feels like home. So sheltered and safe. 

What a way to kick off 2013. My dad told me " You have grown and it seems like yesterday you were just 5". When he said that, I can see he said it with so much love and sadness. Well daddy, I wish I can stay 5 too. So innocent and oblivious with all the negativity in live. 

Some may claim that they know you best, but trust me, NO one knows you best apart from yourself. 

Anger, sadness, regrets... 

Throw them away and live. 

Negativity affects people around you. 

I have always tell myself, you have no one to impress or please. I thought I don't care what people think of me, but sometimes, I do care. At times, I doubt myself. I tried being strong and push these negativity aside, but it gets tougher as it goes. 

I feel like the most misunderstood person at the moment. When you treat someone with all your love and thoughts, and they just take them and throw it in your face and hurt you, tears will eventually fall no matter how tough a person can be. Sadness beyond anyone's control emerged from within.

I refuse to be bitter, revengeful and angry. But I can't help being sad. I understand how my mom feels when she has to deal with my grandmother, her mother-in-law till this date.Really, she should totally write a book entitled "A daughter-in-law's ordeal". 

Well, I am sorry this is such a depressing new year post but I just need somewhere to voice out my sadness. Thank you for your time and your attention. I promise I will survive through this sadness and pray.