Old Love

It has been a long time since I write here. I thought I found a new platform to pour my heart and soul out but I guess, I am back to this old school love, typing, not with my smart phone but with my good ol' desktop. NOT EVEN LAPTOP PLEASE! LOL!

So, if you do follow my Dayre, (which I write extensively due to the convenience), you will know my sampatness/ craziness in a whole new level but today, I revisited my good ol' bloggy and I guess, I realise that I do miss typing and pouring my heart here. 

In Dayre, I do have quite a few (to me is like a lot lah!) followers and silent readers because it is a small community. Here, I feel like I am talking to a wall because I don't know if my thoughts are heard here as compared to in Dayre. Dayre was once perfect la.

Nevertheless, a perfect world will never be perfect forever. 

Dayre has impacted my life quite drastically because I am very real there. No hiding my emotions, thoughts (although with a lot of tact) or my craziness there. I type as I talk, so whatever you read, it is how I talk. I kid you not!

I find myself opening up more in Dayre and at one point, it was my only escape route for me. I was hit by a personal crisis earlier this year and I nearly gave up. But, somehow, Dayre saved me. I learn to express my sadness, my anger, my frustration and my happiness with writing albeit my writing is not decorated with impressive and bombastic sentences, I learn, for the first time, to express myself. 

Writing has always been one of my hobby, my old love, my high school sweetheart. I remember I was being made fun of by my other friends who did read my blog about the way I wrote when I first started blogging. While I was embarrassed, I never wanted to give up writing. So, the next best thing was to improve my writing skills. I started to read more and trained myself to write with proper be tenses, verbs and nouns. 

Sometimes, simplicity conveys the message better, I think. 

I can write long and complicated essays, cloak with extravagant literature, but I choose not to here and in Dayre, simply because it is not me. While I appreciate literature and I do see the beauty in it, I choose to stay simple with the way I write, simply because I for one, know how reading can impact one's life. 

I write as if I am talking to you because eventhough you are merely reading what I am typing here, I want you to feel as if I am talking to you and reaching out to you. I may not have as much readers here as compared to Dayre but I guess my blog is my old love, a love that I cannot let go of no matter how I tried. 

Bloggy, thank you for being here for me.

Yours truly,

April Tay

If You Still Read My Blog

Hey ya there!

I apologize for the inconsistent updates here. I know I have been gone fore quite awhile...

FINE.....

I have a confession...

I have not been faithful...

To my blog...

I have been updating more consistently elsewhere...(the horror!!)

If you want more consistent updates, you can find me in Dayre http://dayre.me/apriltay .However, I will still update my blog from time to time but I think I will post more serious or reflective post here more often while I will update more about my personal life in Dayre,

You just need to download this app into your smart phone and it is like a mini Blog and it is so easy to access. There are many bloggers there too so, you can just follow them and you can read all kind of posts there too.

It is super user friendly and easy especially when you are so lazy sitting in front of your PC or Laptop. With Dayre, you can read or blog while you lie on the bed, while you poop (which I do most of the time), while you eat ( this I do often too) or even while you are in the public transport on your way home!

I personally love to write and read. Dayre (pronounced as Dairy) provides me an opportunity to write whatever nonsense that were in my brain (I brain fart a lot there) and type down all my random thoughts ( I am super random by the way).

It is a great way to connect with friends and make friends there. I love it because I can have another mode to express myself there. It is basically a mini blog site cater for bloggers on the go.

So, if you are a blogger and you love to write or you have too much poop in your brain and you need a place to poop them out, try Dayre! You can find this app in Google Store or if you have an Iphone, just download it from Itunes. And... YES... the app is free!

Taking the Blinds off

I decided to do something useful this morning and hence, I started reading more about North Korea. I am sure many of you know the situation there. The recent news was where 80 people were executed for possessing pornography work, prostitution and having Bible and their relatives and children were forced to witness the execution. The very first thing that when through my mind was "WTF! Why is the people letting this ridiculous dictator rule their country?"

So, with all the curiosity all build up, I researched more about it. I stumbled upon blogs describing their visits to the North Korea. Apparently, the people there are rather brainwashed. I would love to get hold of a few memoirs on North Korea before making anymore detailed comments. Since this had sparked my curiosity, I would most probably get hold of one of the Memoir soon ie:  Eyes of the Tailless Animals : Prison Memoir of a North Korean Woman. I would definitely review it here once I get hold of that book.

Coming back to the purpose of this post : Taking the Blinds off.

As we all know, the Lady Of Justice's eyes are blindfold. It signifies objectivity; not phase by money, power and greed. The blindfold also signifies impartiality. The Lady of Justice originates from the Roman Goddess and later Greek Goddess, The Goddess of Justice. However, this post is not about impartiality or objectiveness of the the law nor is it about justice at all.

Taking the blinds off simply means wake up. When I took the blinds off, I see the world in a clearer view. I learn to view it with more skepticism and criticisms. Is that good or bad? Well, one may say it is bad because I lose faith in humanity and life. I beg to differ. I think it is a good thing. Simply because I learn how to love my country and think of ways to better myself.

When I took the blinds off, I learn that life is more than just fantasies. Life is cruel but yet rewarding. When I took the blinds off, I learn that suffering is imminent, I learn to be appreciative and think of ways to contribute to lessen the hardship. When I took the blinds off, I became less trusting to people because essentially, it is not about the quantity but the quality. People are nice to you because they either want money or your influence for their own benefit. But then, I also learn to appreciate those who are genuinely my friends from the beginning.

The list can go on till eternity.

To make my point across, I am glad that I had the opportunity to take the blinds off myself because finally, I am able to look at the world with an open heart. To question what I see and not just merely accepting it. The blinds have been there to protect our innocent minds and our pure heart. But I think it is time for me to remove the blinds and mature as a person and make steps to venture to the next horizon. Sometimes what we see may not be the entire truth but a distorted one. Truth is a word which can easily be defined in words but not in reality.

The people of North Korea have chose to blindfold their eyes. But what I find most saddening is how the people there are simply accepting the dictatorship and absurd punishments. What appease me is Malaysians would never be like the North Koreans. I think most of us already took the blinds off and moving forward and for that I am thankful.

The first Trip with the Crazies

So, I realized that it would not be fair for me to blog about my family trip to Phuket and not blog about the trip with the besties. Yeap... I went Thailand twice in a year! Thai and me had a thing going on this year.

So, how this trip happened?

Oh well, Rosh was browsing through Air Asia's website and she stumbled upon cheaper flight tickets to Krabi and thanks to the very advance technology nowadays, she whatsapp-ed Kee and me to ask us whether we are game for the trip. And within minutes, our flights were booked.

Then later, my two besties decided that HEY! Why not go Bangkok from Krabi since we are going to spend 6 days there. So, we booked another flight to Bangkok from Krabi. ( I told you I had a thing with Thailand this year). So, all done, hotel booked and we are just counting the days till the trip began!

The story will henceforth be explained by the pictures.

The three of us at the airport. I am on the phone with Thomas reporting every single thing. He was suffering from a slight separation anxiety at that moment. 

Before our parents allowed us to go on this trip, they made us promise them that we will follow a set of rules. We broke the first rule once we touched down in Bangkok! We ate by the road side. Thank God non of us suffered any diarrhea. 

So, our first destination, Ayutthya. ( I think that is the spelling). I remembered we had to wake up super early and you can definitely tell by looking at this picture! LOL!

We hired a tuk-tuk to bring us around. Actually, we are supposed to hire bicycles and cycle around but honestly, I secretly thanked the heaven we didn't because the weather was killing me! If i did not put on sunblock, I will be fried. Literally. Plus, in the end, we had to cycle back to the shop to return the bicycle!

Yeah... We visited a lot of temples, ruins and at one point, all of them looked the same to me. I love how we managed to be cultural while we were on our trip ( Thanks Rosh!)

This is Rosh sleeping on my oh-so-bony-yet-so-comfortable shoulder. We were exhausted! I think we all managed to lose some couple of pounds with all the walking and it was only day 1!

The next day, we visited a floating market in Amphawa. 

 They sell their seafood on their sampan. We literally had to walk down a narrow wooden stairs to collect our seafood. So, we appointed Rosh to get it for us. And she, being the braver one among us, also volunteered to go get it for us! The prawns were rather fresh and they were huge too. 

That night itself we went to Asiatique and the things there are not cheap and over rated. However, it is a tourists area rather than a local hang out place

This is the Bangkok train station. Initially, we wanted to take the train to Krabi but unfortunately, all of the trains were fully booked. So, we had to take a bus there. That was the only hiccup we had during our trip. We were cheated off our money! If any of you plan to go somewhere, use the train! Try to avoid tour buses! They are a rip off! It is rather unfortunate that we had to sit near the toilet and thus, we had to suffer for 12 hours smelling pee. Poor Kee nearly died half way. Half way through the journey, one french dude came down to pee and he was lamenting away how stinky it was. So, Kee, being the ever so helpful, started spraying some deodorant around and some of it entered that dude's mouth. He, not being a gentleman, started cursing and hurling verbal profanities at Kee. He started spitting about. The bus was a double deck bus. Nevertheless, we did make some nice friends though. After that incident, almost all ang mohs turn me off. We Asians always think Ang Mohs are gentleman. Well, guess what people, that is not always the case. On the other hand, I think Asian men are more docile and polite! 

 After the 12 hour ride, we finally reached Krabi!

We went around Krabi town to survey for the most affordable island hopping packages. 

We were on our way to the Islands!

We met some nice island hopping buddies! They are a nice couple! 

This is Aonang Beach during the evening. After the island hopping, Rosh wanted to go around Aonang beach but Kee wasn't feeling too well. So, I decided that since I am not feeling sick nor tired I will be the one accompanying Rosh!

The trip started with the rushing, loads of walking, sweating and legs paining but it ended in the most relaxing mode! It was perfect! Although we had our little disagreements but we worked things out and we discovered more about each other with this trip. I love how this trip impacted my life personally because I always thought that I wanted the most independent life away from my family. This trip really made me cherish my friendship with the two crazies, my family and of course, Thomas. I would be lying to say I didn't miss that guy. 

So, I went on this trip during March and now, it is October. I didn't blog about it then because everything was so fresh in my mind then and I wasn't missing Thailand that much then. Now, while I reminisce all that, there is a tinge in my heart and I would be like "awwww, I miss the trip". This is when I know I am ready to blog about the trip. 

On the way back to Malaysia!

The Fam

I never really have enough chance to hang out with my family since I moved to the city to pursue my degree and I am most likely to practice here too. It is undeniable that I do get homesick and I would weep like a baby before I go to sleep because of that. Apart from that, when I am having my monthly PMS, I would get all grumpy and emotional thinking about my family.

There was once, I had a conversation with Thomas and we were discussing about our future when we are parents. (No, we are not getting married anytime soon. We are just discussing about what we will probably do or probably will feel). One of the many questions that arose was what kind of parents are we going to be to our children next time? 

Although we can only say now, but I think I would probably be the doting mom. I would probably be the one spoiling my children. I am pretty sure I am not the conservative kind of parent. I believe in nurturing creative minds. I believe that academics alone is not enough to help you grow as a person. If my kid wants to be an actress, a painter, a singer, or whatever Asian parents think that the particular field has no future, I would probably encourage it. If they are academically talented, then of course I would encourage it but if my kid is not academically talented, I would most certainly not blame my kid and encourage him or her to pursue what he or she likes.

Of course, discipline is a must. I am firm with my principles and I would like my child to be that too. I will definitely let the father be the bad guy. I am not going to be the bad guy. I am the cool mum and the best-friend. LOL!

Now the question is, what if your kid defies you or disappoint you? 

I am not a parent yet, but as a child to my parents, I did some pretty big mistakes myself too. I don't see them disowning me nor throw me out from my home. I have to say, I have great and forgiving parents. They taught me to be compassion, respect and humility. I was once a rebellious kid (we all went through that phase!), but I guess my parents are smart enough to let go of the strings before I went berserk. They set their boundaries and limitations without me realizing they were there! 

But I think to be a parent, one need to be forgiving. The amount of hurtful things I said or did are uncountable. Yet, they forgave me and love me just the way I am. My dad is the crazy dad and my mom is the no nonsense mom. But I think both are forgiving and loving parents. They would always find space in their heart to forgive their children and for that I am thankful.

It irks me to hear stories like parents disowning their children because they haven't been obeying their parents. Parents, your children are not puppets. They have their mind of their own and they have dreams too. Yes, you bring them to the world but they didn't point a gun to your head to ask you to bring them to the world! Your duty is to love, educate and encourage them. Not to make them to be someone you never had a chance to be. 

Children, you parents are not evil, they are just concern and want the best for you. We all went through our rebellious age, but when it is time to say sorry, you say it! When it is time to reconcile you put your damn ego down and do it! Stop being a disrespectful and unappreciative *beep*.

Anyhow, I just want to dedicate this post to my parents and would like them to know how much I appreciate them and love them and how thankful I am to them for the opportunities that they showered me. 

The family in Phuket

When it was LONG LONG time ago

When the parents were in Chiang Mai

Enough is enough

Please, stop making Malaysia a laughing stock in the eyes of the world. Enough that our human rights are not protected. Enough that we are led by a bunch of fools. Enough that we have a bunch of unappreciative fools living here.

It is so tiring and annoying that when you want to escape from reality, what keeps on popping up on the screen is the issue of "Allah". Oh, don't get me wrong. I do not agree with the COA decision at all but I think there are sufficient and rather strong justifications as to why the COA decision is ludicrous. But I think many misunderstand the point as to why is there a charge in the first place. This is a judicial review case and it concerns the government infringing certain rights that the Federal Constitution allocated for the citizens.

How is that so many people blaming the Religion instead of the people whom started all these nonsense? Why blame the Jews, the Christians and even the Muslims when we have no issue about this? The only issue here is the government infringing our constitutional rights. Period.

Where is the freedom of religion? What is freedom of religion? Or most importantly, what is our freedom as a Malaysian?

We don't have any rights with our education and our future. For those whom are privileged enough to attend private schools, colleges and Universities, be thankful. We are not given the freedom to choose our courses in the local Universities. My question to you is, Why can't we choose? Don't give me crap that there is a danger that a particular field of practice would be saturated. It is never too much to have more doctors, engineers, teachers, lawyers and etc. Don't give me crap that many would be unemployed because as it is now, there are many unemployed graduates too. So, I don't think this attempt is successful to curb the unsound problems.

We don't have rights to our money. For example, cars in Malaysia are so expansive. Why the high taxes? But yet, we foolish Malaysians just accepted it and pay for the ridiculous percentage of taxes. High taxes are not charged in countries that produces vehicles but yet, their citizens are willing to buy their own product. WHY? because they are of quality. I love my country but I feel that many potentials are not nurtured and encouraged here and thus caused many to migrate to other countries whom appreciate their potentials and talents.

We don't have the rights to have a fair and just election. The world is dirty but hey, Not this dirty... Even if it is, at least have some brains to cover it up. We do not have the rights to choose our leaders. We don't choose our prime minister. UMNO chose it.

I am an activist but I am not unappreciative too. I would not have been one if our system here is efficient. It would be too ambitious and even foolish to want a perfect system. But is it too much to want a sufficient system, sufficient leaders (with qualifications and not just some useless diplomas) and to be appreciated as a citizen? I always try to be impartial to our government, our judiciary and our parliament but with all the current happenings, I am losing my faith. I do not know how long more this patriotism in me will continue to ignite.

Some say study hard and migrate. My question is why should I when this is also my country? Some say don't like the system, Migrate. My question is why should I when this is also my country? Should one just accept what is given even though it is unjust? Can't we give constructive criticisms? Is it wrong to ask for a better Malaysia? One may say what is better may not be better for another. But is equality bad? We are not pro-communism nor a Marxist. We are Pro-people. We just want the system to be fair to the people regardless of races and religions. Is this too much to ask? To achieve full satisfaction, start asking the majority instead of pleasing a handful of conceited minorities whom crown themselves as power holders.

What the *Beep*

I dread the times when I have to open up my Facebook because everytime, without fail, there would be some absurd articles shared among my friends. One of the articles I stumbled upon was where a raped victim was punished with beatings while her rapists were sentenced to serve a substantial years of jail time.

http://www.examiner.com/article/victim-sentenced-200-lashes-by-saudi-court?cid=db_articles <--- You can read the article here.

My question is, why is the raped victim even given 200 lashes as punishment? What justice is Syariah Law trying to prove here? The fact that she was sitting in an automobile with a non-relative, she was sentenced to 90 lashes. What sort of absurdity is this? I know many of us, in our minds will think "Maksiat lah tu" but let me ask you this, can sitting in an automobile with a non-relative even qualify as "maksiat" (immoral)? 

It saddens me to know that women are still rather oppressed in certain societies and countries.In this article, it seems to portray a message that "If a girl is raped and loses her virginity, she is deemed as dirty. Thus, she must be punished". Let me tell you this, a girl's virginity is not GOLD! Who gives you the right to say one is clean or dirty? If she is dirty, don't you think the rapists would even be dirtier? Don't you think they deserve to be castrated since they cannot control their desires?

I believe women today have proven that we deserve the same amount of respect that men give each other. No doubt women are generally more emotional, revengeful and weak in physical, but that does not mean that women should be treated any lesser that men. I do not and would not deny that I am a feminist simply because I am sick of reading news about child marriage, rape victims being blamed and punished. I am sick of looking at how men treat their wives without respect in public. I am also sick of witnessing women succumb to their "fate". Women are no object or some prize you put on the rack to be shown off. You men would not even be here without your mothers' womb. 

I am so disgusted with the laws that some religions uphold ever so faithfully and they are so blinded that certain rules are so oppressive and unfair. If you do not sin yourself, then be the first to cast the stone. Who are these religious appointee to set those absurd rules? I am angry and disappointed that even today, after all the modernization that we went through, we are still caught in the web of absurdity when it comes to religion and morality. At first, religions were used to govern the people so that they would behave and to instill fear. Now, I would like to think that the society has evolved and we know that rules are set to fight for justice and to protect one's liberty. Rules are not suppose to be set to oppress or embarrass.  

I hope no one is offended as I am not targeting any religious group in particular. But I urge you to think whether are they certain absurd rules that your religion practices and should they even  exist today? Are those rules jeopardizing your liberties, your rights and your freedom? If yes, then why didn't you question it? If you are prosecuted for being inquisitive, then the religion is not God, and God is not the religion because God is ever loving and forgiving. He will never subject you to such foolish set of rules. 

It would be different if those set of rules are to uphold tradition. What I am focusing is not on the rules which involve tradition but rules which endanger your liberties.